As it happens, routine has set in. I, Liz, have been working six days a week starting at five or six and Morgan works Monday to Friday from 8 to 5:30. We don't see much of each other if you can imagine. Like ships passing in the night.
So, routine. It tends to take hold and before you know it, weeks are just passing you by.
We have been away for four months now and its been an unexpected journey. Life plans just never stop changing do they? We just keep adapting, that's a sign of health I think. Well if I become an expert on anything during this year it is going to be finding peace in the change, the unknown.
Recently things have been changing quite a bit. I'm no longer happy here. I've been seriously trying to find my place here in this tiny town and I have finally accepted that it's not going to happen. I try going out more, not going out at all, yoga, cooking, long walks, sleeping enough, you name it. After much thought I have decided to leave New Zealand.
I have been away from my family, my home, long enough to know how unbelievably integral to my well being that they are. I know I am not ready to go back yet but I do know how precious this time away from them is. I am feeling like I constantly sacrifice by being away from them. This has been a good thing for me, strengthening, yet I know I am not doing this to be unhappy in a town across the world. So I am going to Australia. Morgan and I have some thinking to do over the next couple of weeks because of course we face the decision of moving on together or parting ways for the time being. Morgan is in a different place then I am with her schedule and liking the town more then I do. However she might feel as though its her time as well. The thought of moving on without Morgan is scary for both of us so we will be deciding soon.
I have learned that my family is the most important part of my life. And while it makes this journey a difficult one, it also gives me sight into remaining myself and making the hard decisions to bring myself happiness no matter what uncertainties it might bring.
So, Australia it is... specifically Sydney for now. Who knows if I will feel more isolated or elated to be in a bustling eccentric city. As my wonderful mother told me yesterday, "If I don't take the next step then I will never know what step to take after that"
As Ever,
Lizzy
